Men's Center Sexual Trauma & Abuse Survivors Drop-in Support Groups

At present, the Sexual Trauma & Abuse Survivors Support Groups are all online (via Zoom). To attend online, click [Contact Group Facilitator] below. Your contact info will be emailed to the facilitator and they will send you information on how to attend using Zoom.

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Open to All Genders
• For now, Zoom meetings are by appointment, scheduled individually with facilitators. This group no longer meets weekly. Call facilitator with questions or for an appointment.

Co-facilitators: Jerry Buchmeier, PhD (Therapeutic Counseling) & Kathleen McDowell, MA (Human Development)

You may feel alone, and it is a brave step to seek out other men who can share from this perspective the deep feelings of shame.

Many adults have been sexually abused in childhood or adolescence, or have experienced sexual trauma as adults. Whether you have clear memories or vague recollections, perhaps you experience feelings of shame, self-hate, guilt, fear, anger, grief, or embarrassment.

Sharing your story and feelings with others can release these feelings, while creating and renewing patterns of comfortable, healthy, and rewarding interactions with people of both sexes. This support group provides a safe environment to share your experiences and learn about how others are coping with these issues.

Join us in developing healthier attitudes and behaviors that transform us from survivors into living life to the fullest. Questions, call Jerry, 763-546-4133.

[download brochure]

[Contact Group Facilitator]

There is no payment required to attend TCMC groups. However, during the transition to online programs, TCMC has experienced an increased shortfall in revenue due the temporary closure of our facility and requests donations of $3 to $10 (or more) to help sustain our program expenses.

To make a contribution to TCMC online, please visit tcmc.org/payment-donate.html, or use Venmo by searching @twincitiesmenscenter in the app or by hovering your smart phone camera over the QR code below:

SUPPORT GROUP MEETING GUIDELINES

(download the PDF of these guidelines.)

IN PREPARATION FOR THE SUPPORT GROUP:
Support Groups begin promptly at 7:30 PM and will continue to 9:30 PM. Any late arrival is disrespectful to all group participants as is any early departures; please invest in the full two hours time. Note, early arrival will allow you to browse through our many community resource and library materials (these may be checked out if you are a member).

Support Groups are safe and confidential—a place to talk freely. When you attend a TCMC support group, you agree to keep all you hear to yourself. We don’t carry away reports of who’s there or what is said. We require that no notes be taken. Carry away only your own growth material, in your heart and in your mind. Confidentiality is of Utmost Importance.
The Support Group is not a therapy group. There is often a fine line between support and therapy, but be aware that we are not here to change or “fix” anyone. If you want to change (grow), we are here to support you in that effort.
The Support Group is to be a Chemically Free environment. It is important that we all come here with as clear a mind as possible. If you are under the influence of alcohol or nonprescription mood-altering drugs, we will request that you excuse yourself and come back at another time in the proper mind set.
Support Groups are to be smoke-free. If you need to smoke, please step outside the building to accomplish this need. Exiting and returning to the group should be in a nondisruptive/respectful manner.
The Support Group will be Free from Sexual Harassment. If you engage in inappropriate remarks or behavior, we will request that you excuse yourself. Sexual fraternization is not allowed on the premises.
Judgmental statements that “bash” a group or individual are never appropriate in support groups because they destroy the trust that makes the group a safe place to discuss feelings.

CHECK-IN: At this time,

Give your Name; tell us a little about how you Feel and where you are at, keeping this reasonably short (2 minutes max). If you have an issue to discuss, ask for time. You may use you first name only if you wish to be anonymous.
Do not interrupt another participant during their check-in—this is their time only.

SUPPORT GROUP ISSUES DISCUSSION: During this extended time, be responsible for yourself as to:

Feelings which are neither good or bad; they just exist. Your feelings do not need to be logical...they’re your feelings and that is okay.
Staying on a feelings level as much as possible; your story is very important; your feelings are paramount.
Asking for the time you need, and seeing to it that you get it.
Trying not to theorize or philosophize; use “I” statements as much as possible.
Your right to disagree or challenge a position; be respectful, use appropriate non-judgemental language, and confront only when approved by the receiver.
Advice giving. We are not here to give advice. If you feel you have advice to give, always ask the recipient if he or she wants it. Exercise your own judgement when advice is received.

CHECK-OUT: at approximately 9:20 PM, is a time for closure to the evening group.

Again without interruption, you have about 1 minute to state how you how feel, whether or not your needs were met, and departing salutations.

CONTRIBUTIONS will be solicited during check-out and an attendance report will be passed (you do not need to put your real full name on this log). We use the attendance log to allocate resources between the different groups. We do not report names or personal information to any other entity.

Please remember that the Men’s Center needs your financial support to continue our operation. It is suggested that a sliding scale of $3 to $7 be considered. No one will be turned away due to a lack of monetary funds.