MT: You have been conscious about your inner work and personal growth for more than ten years. How important have men's support groups been to you?

DJ: Men's support groups have been very significant in my life. I joined my first men's group when I was 21 years old. I was having a hard time just being a young man trying to support himself with food, rent, and a job as an apprentice bricklayer. It was a group facilitated by two professional therapists. I learned so much. I watched men from 30 to 70 talk about everything men in their 30's thru 70's would talk about. It blew me away. It was quite different from the conversations I had with my extremely religious father or the construction workers I worked with. Since, then I have been involved in many different types of groups each serving a purpose for whatever stage of development I was at at the time.

MT: You met other men who have affected the path you are on. What were the key insights you got from them?

DJ: Yes, I have met many men who have supported, inspired, guided, and "pointed" me in directions. However, I'm not sure how to answer the question of what key insights I got from them. I could say many and I could say none. The "key" insights that I have experienced came mostly from within. Certainly influenced by others, but the insight arose through the natural process of self-realization.

MT: You have been in talk therapy, gone to the New Warrior weekend, and have taken the Anger Management class series at the Men's Center. Each time you found out new things about yourself and the source of your angry feelings. What can you advise other men who secretly know that they can't trust themselves not to hurt themselves or others because they are afraid of their own repressed anger/rage?

DJ: Get Help Immediately!!! If not for your sake, for the sake of others around you. There are groups, organizations, hospitals, etc. that have dealt with these issues. Don't let fear or shame keep you from asking for help. You're not alone!

MT: You introduced me to the transpersonal psychologist/integral philosopher Ken Wilbur. What do you like best about his work?

DJ: That it's published in many languages and countries all over the world. Written for anyone to read! I also like the way he goes into integral transformative practices. Practices that develop all the different lines and streams of development within each of us and how to work those in nature, culture, and self.

MT: Lately you have found some healing and serenity with sitting meditation. Can you describe what that's like for you, and what other men might gain by doing it?

DJ: It has been a long road for me to learn to sit still. I am glad I have been patient enough with myself to keep continuing even after long periods of forgetting about it. The "healing" I've experienced would be in regards to the "pain-body" or the identification with it. I had chronic pain for years in my 20's. I've watched it dissolve through the practice of yoga and meditation.

MT: You are in great shape physically, and have repeatedly stressed to me the importance of balanced nutrition for my life. You were one of the volunteers who selected the program for the Men's Center's 2001 Men's Health and Wellbeing Symposium. Can you describe briefly your overall guiding philosophy for men's health?

DJ: This is where I feel like a hypocrite. I think my diet is more balanced than it is. I'm kidding myself. My co-workers think I'm some health nut. But, in the darkest hours I've been known to put away a chocolate chip cookie or 5. Whole Foods has the best vegan choc. chip cookies and then I buy "Dean's Easy" lactose-free milk. Sorry, I digress. I don't feel qualified to give an "overall guiding philosophy" but, I do like Ken Wilbur's ideas of working body, mind, soul, and spirit, in nature, culture, and self. The financial experts tell us to have a "diverse portfolio" well, I think the transformative practices have the same idea but with regards to the multi-faceted, multi-dimensional human being.

MT: How much of a challenge is it to meet a woman you'd like to share your life with for the long-term? Are there any healthy women out there?

DJ: Next question (joke). Well, I'm 34 and single. So that says something. Yes, it's been difficult. Especially, when the needy part is doing the looking. I am trying to trust the process and continue to connect with my deeper self which ironically will make it even more difficult. Who knows?

As for healthy women, absolutely, they are out there. I've met them. Healthy does not equal compatible. God help us all!!

Dean Jurek is a Minneapolis resident who in his spare time has performed with various local theatre companies in comedic, musical and dramatic roles.

Andy Mickel is a long-time active Men's Center member; a former Executive Director, a former Men Talk editor, and the 2001 Men's Health Symposium organizer, he now serves on the Board of Directors. Andy is committed to conveying the history and value of men's work to the next generation of men by mentoring.