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How Do You Listen To Sexual Assault
– © 2009 by Djoke Steen
The second rape
The mythic image of the violent stranger jumping out of the bushes is oddly reassuring and very persistent in spite of contradicting statistics about sex crimes. The uncomfortable reality is that most perpetrators are known and trusted by the victim and that often no physical violence is used. If your friend tells you she has been sexually assaulted, there is a good chance the perpetrator walks around in your social circles.
Since I was not physically attacked by a stranger, conversations about my sexual assault focused around determining where I had gone wrong; to what extend I had provoked and/or resisted the assault. Speaking out meant facing my shame and humiliation, instead of support, I noticed that some kind of uneasiness and defensive thinking kicks in when people are confronted by a sexual assault victim. I found most people choose to critically question the victim. To critically evaluate the perpetrator is uncomfortable territory for many of us.
Continued...
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What's Inside
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