Fall brings a time when it feels natural for men to gather in circles. Many of us have spent time this summer ranging out and traveling away from our homeland. Now we can gather and share the gifts and stories that we received in our travels with other men in our community.

The gifts that I have received of late focus on a feeling that all of my needs are being met. I feel nourished in body, mind and spirit.

This has not always been the case for me. In years past I have felt the need to capture and hold any nourishing event. I guess I was starved. I felt like hoarding. I had built imaginary walls around myself. I often chose to isolate.

It is not that way for me anymore. I now feel that I can receive support and nourishment by breathing it in and to support others, in turn, by gently exhaling. I am not alone. I am a part of circles of men, a family of origin, a family of choice, and a community. No one found this for me. I had to find it for myself, or should I say, to notice it. I suspect that it had been there all along.

This fall I plan to get close to the soil and smell the abundance of life before it sleeps for another season. I will take a few naps in the crisp air, sunshine and dry leaves. Most of all I long to see the flickering light from a fire reflected in your eyes as we sit in circle. Blessings on your day, your work and all of your relations.

Bobby Schauerhamer,
Board Chair

–– Ray Clare, Librarian

Help the National Guard

The National Guard has returned, and fortunately they are having a re-integration program, and are eligible for care from the VA for 2 years, but they need help from all of us, and the Men’s Center can also be available as one resource.

The men and women who served in Iraq had much intense togetherness, a constant high. Now coming home they are likely to face emptiness and will be tempted to fill it with some other form of high, like drugs or alcohol. My biggest concern is that when they get back to the family and after the honeymoon is over, they will express their anger at spouse and children in abusive ways.

I went to 2 workshops on reintegration, and all the speakers emphasized that veterans need to be held accountable for their behavior. My fear is that spouses will not report abuse, and thus it will likely continue. The Men’s Center Anger Management program may be a useful resource for men who choose not to seek help at the VA. Chrysalis can be an effective resource for women who need help in dealing with abuse, their phone is 612 871-0118. An August 1st article in the Minneapolis Star Tribune indicated that the stress of deployment is blamed for a 60% increase in child abuse usually committed by a wife left at home. So the women are likely to be guilt-laden and will need help in dealing with those feelings and their behavior. It is important for all of us to reach out to veterans and families and ask them how they are doing, and listen to their feelings, and ask again another time. The Men’s Center can be a resource for these and other men.

Norm Petrik, Ph.D Licensed Psychologist